WHENEVER I FEEL LONELY, I START TO MISS YOU.
I start thinking about those days. Those days I’d wake up with your cute text messages. When you use to call me at four, five, or six in the morning. You always woke up so fucken early, lol. The way you’d say ” Baabeeee” & then tell me you love me. How you held my waist, & rubbed my hips. You always looked at me in this dreamy way that just got me so fucken bad. That day I refused to kiss you when I knew I wanted to so bad.. I was just nervous. Ha.. How you lifted me up off the ground that one time.. First time a boy ever did that to me. Probably cuhs I’m fat, heh. Buht you said you wish you had what I had which I knew was such bullshit, buht still cute (‘: I remember the first time was talked on the phone.. you called me up, & I just woke up.. I could barely hear you, but your voice was so deep. You asked me if I wanted to go back to sleep, & I said yeah. After you texted me saying my voice was “cute”. LOL. I remember seeing you.. that one day. I still remember the feeling. I looked up at you, & the sun was shining on your face. Our little dirty convos. Goddamn. You’re so fucking kinky, Lol. Then we started fighting. We had these big arguments. I was so clingy.. Only because I didn’t wanna lose you.. buht I over did it. And then we started fighting every week, almost every other day, buht after every fight, I gained more feelings for you. I remember you kept telling me to hold on. Buht I didn’t because I felt like things weren’t right. I felt like you still had feelings for your ex. You lagged on me a lot, & i didn’t even know you.. that well. There was so much I wanted to tell you, & ask you. Sometimes, you’d ignore me.. I know it. You still do. And.. when your friends would say stuff to me, you didn’t do anything. I felt like shit. I still have feelings for you, & it sucks. ): i hate you.. & you can never keep a conversation. You gave me mixed signals, but now.. I know how it is. That’s why I asked you to come over tonight. Not to do anything. Just to ask you questions, & get them answered. I wanted to know if I should get over you or not, & how. And if that was our last goodbye, I wanted it to be special. I hate when things between us always happened over a text & I didn’t want to look like a fool, even though I am. I poured my heart out to you once already, & things didn’t change. I just wanna know whats right, because I’m tired of these mixed signals.. but you’ll never know.. & I’ll probably always be in love with you.. Secretly, in love with you.
Funny huh?
